Phobia of commitment refers to the fear of engaging in committed long-term relationships. This can be in personal, social, or professional relationships. Much of the phobia derives from fear from anxiety, failure, and other various factors. Commitment phobia is not only detrimental to ones self but also to the other party that is susceptible to get hurt.
We find commitment phobia to be a psychological disorder that can be treated. Seeking professional help can be an effective way in dealing with it. By analyzing the root of the problem and finding ways to treat it can help in dealing with the fear. It is important to get help. When things are going great, the phobia leads the person to stray away, leaving others in confusion. This can be very hurtful to the other people.
The phobia of commitment often derives from a fear of becoming hurt and vulnerable. And ending things before things get any deeper is what they will often do. This disorder is most common amongst men than women.
The pain experienced in the past may be so great that the commitment phobic will never want to make his or herself vulnerable to that extent of hurt. This could be a childhood pain or past adulthood experiences. He or she will try to avoid this to all extents, and hurt or disappoint others. Shutting down to avoid the hurt will also shut the door to feeling joy, love, and all the other lovely things that can be gained in meaningful engagements.
Those that fear commitments are not likely to hold down a job for many years, avoid getting married, and basically not follow through with plans. They may date a person and seek out the thrill but quickly move onto the next person. This could be the next day, the next month, the next year, etc. If together for a long time, he or she will avoid and put off marriage for as long as possible or even leave the relationship to avoid any further commitment. In a job, the commitment phobe is unlikely to stay at one job for a long time and may even switch careers often.
Having unrealistic expectations is another common characteristic of commitment phobia. Wanting and expecting the fantasy job or significant other and being unable to achieve it can make a person go from one relationship to another. They are picky, view themselves as being perfect while the others around him do not meet their expectation. And they jump around and leave when they are not happy. Signs of this disorder are usually apparent. His or her plans are constantly changing. Dinner dates are cancelled at the last minute. And it is not because of being extremely busy. It may be the simple fact that he or she decides to do something else at the last minute.
Examine what is really desired. This type of phobia is a common disorder that can be treated. Carefully examining the root of the fear with a professional can help give a better understanding of why the phobia exists. Accepting and acknowledging the past hurtful memories is one of the first steps in the process towards being treated.
Though it is a very common and serious disorder, it can be treated with the proper attention. And getting to the root of the problem and carefully examining and understanding what is causing the fear or commitment and intimacy is the first step in the process of healing. There may be things that have happened in the past that have been unexamined that may be causing the phobia.
For more information on Phobia of Commitment, visit our website.. Free reprint available from: Phobia Of Commitment And Understanding It.
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