I’ve lately gone through periods of lots of anxiety, which hasn’t ever happened to me before. I spent my early 20s as pretty carefree and pursuing all the various things that I really cared about. But now, as I grow older and realize that life is growing increasingly short, things that didn’t used to cause me worry are now starting to cause me to worry.
At base, these anxieties have to be dealt with if you’re ever going to feel peace and contentment again. Worry is simply a creeping fear that the bad thing you suspect might occur actually will occur. So one of the common techniques that psychologists tell people to handle the root of that worry is to take a good look at what would happen if worst came to worst.
What is the real fear that waits at the end of the line? Let’s take a typical fear. Most men I know get concerned the girl they’re interested isn’t going to stay around, that ultimately the relationship is not going to last. So what would happen if the relationship did end? You’d be alone again and would need to find somebody else, someone equally as extraordinary as the girl you have an interest in or are dating now.
Is that not realistic? Definitely not. That isn’t the real worry. The real worry behind the anxiety is that you’ll always be alone, that it will never work out and that as you grow older, good relationships just get more rare and difficult to find. That’s the real fear you’ve got to deal with in order to make your worry of that problem go away.
I find that in my own anxieties, there is always an underlying worry that ultimate failure is unavoidable. A similar worry happens to me with my business ventures. Everytime things begin to get uneasy and I start to have the fear that I am going to lose the business project, there’s usually always the underlying fear that I’ll never find a business that works, and that I’ll always be stuck with failure. That’s the real fear and what I have had to learn perseverance to cope with. I suspect it’s similar for most individuals.
Ben Mester is a writer who likes figuring out and discussing the tough issues of life. If you something out of this piece, check out Bible verses about depression and Bible verses about hope.
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