A few years ago I decided to start therapy. I went into it thinking it was shameful and that I should hide it. I didn’t tell anyone.
I felt like I was an inept loser. How come I needed help, when everyone else seemed so competent on their own? I didn’t know anyone in therapy, so I had no idea. Little did I know.
After I started with my therapist I got more comfortable with the process, and was open with my loved ones. On occasion I even recommended therapy to someone, if I thought that it would benefit them.
Then something really interesting started happening. As I started telling my friends and family about my experiences in therapy, bit by bit some of them began confiding in me that they, too, were in therapy. They had been just as afraid about telling people including me as I had been! Because I was in therapy also, and had trusted them, they now felt safe telling me about their experiences in return.
It was sobering to hear their stories. One person close to me told me how she went on antidepressants after the deaths of both of her parents. Another friend has been treated for depression since he was in middle school. My hairdresser had been on medication anti-anxiety meds because of obsessive compulsive disorder.
All of these stories made me feel comforted and included. Instead of feeling awkward or different it was like, hey, we all have experiences we struggle with. My family and friends could understand my struggles and in fact some of them had been there too! They told me that they felt better after telling me too because it was a secret they’d gotten off of their chests.
Nobody is perfect. That is one of the very first things I learned from going into therapy. I also discovered that it is better to be honest and open when you are having difficulties.
If you are open and honest, you’ll find common ground with other people. Even if you feel alone about something, or are embarrassed to tell people, you’ll discover that others support you and are nice about the troubles you have had.
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