Susan Cheever wrote, “Death is terrifying because it is so ordinary. It happens all the time.” When we think of death, we tend to think of it as a dark, looming specter that is too big, too elusive to really grasp. But it is, as Cheever writes, so very ordinary. It is a process that has always been. As we are close to death, our body begins a process of stopping. This is usually orderly and methodical, without drama. When we have the time to face our coming death, our spiritual/emotional/mental being also has to go through a process of letting go. The body prepares itself for death; can you prepare your mind?
Just as everyone has a different birth story, we each have our own death story. While some deaths are sudden, those fighting a “life-limiting,” or fatal illness typically live for a period of time, usually numbered in months. The body knows what it has to do, and it begins the processing of shutting down. One change is that the extremities become cooler; this is because the body is concentrating blood flow to the vital organs. Metabolism slows for the same reason. Like an organized machine, the body moves towards death methodically, until it ceases even core functions.
“These changes,” according to Hospice, “are a normal, natural way in which the body prepares itself to stop…” Our mental/emotional/spiritual self also must prepare to “stop” or move on or transition. In many ways, this process is similar to the body shutting down. We tend to divert our energy to “core” issues. This is why it is so common to think about providing for loved ones, resolving financial and legal issues, making amends or extending forgiveness, or simply letting family and friends know they are loved. This is how the “spirit prepares to move from this existence into the next dimension of life.”
These dual processes may not take place on the same schedule. It is possible for one’s body to be physically ready for death, but there are unresolved issues that are causing him to linger. It is also possible for one to be at peace and ready to die while the body is continuing its shut-down process. When both of these processes are complete, we are prepared for death, which is imminent.
Fear is one of the most prominent emotions during this time, not only for you, but for loved ones. “I am dying,” is one of the most frightening, emotionally-fraught things you can say, and panic, disbelief, anger, and fear are natural, normal reactions. Dr. Alan D. Wolflet, director of Center for Loss and Life Transition, says, “You can only cope with this new reality in doses.” Give yourself that time.
And this is important to remember. Dying is often too big a concept for us to grasp; you do not have to grasp it in one day; you may even grasp it one day but not the next. “To acknowledge you are dying is to let go of the future. It is to live only in the present. There is no easy way to do this, and you will probably struggle with this task every day until you die.” This can either be depressing or uplifting. We often hear that we should live in the moment; now is the time to do that. It is much easier said than done, to be sure.
Many people embrace religion or spirituality to help them cope with the uncertainty, fear, and anxiety. If this resonates with you, immerse yourself in it, whether it is a concept of God, reincarnation, or a returning to the earth. Accept help, prayers, meditation, or other spiritual gifts from loved ones. Dealing with death is not easy, but this may help make it easier.
What if you are not religious and do not believe in an afterlife? Is it still possible to move towards death calmly and peacefully? Yes. Many people see death as a cessation of pain, as well as a cessation of feeling. Epicurus wrote, “Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.” This can be comforting for one who is about to die.
Does the proximity of death bring us awareness, and eventually acceptance of our mortality? Many believe so – if we allow it to. It is not as important that you hold a specific belief as you find a way to bring comfort and acceptance to yourself as you prepare to die. This, too, is a process.
Looking to find an excellent provider for couples therapy San Francisco, then look no more. Dr. Seth is a renowned analytical psychologist who practices classical Jungian analysis to psychoanalytically-oriented psychotherapy.
Related posts:
- Near Death Experience
- Life After Death!
- Learning How to Deal With Death
- Want To Overcome Grief? Counselling Can Help In Dealing With Your Grief.
- Creating Your Own Myth to Deal with the Mystery of Death
- Learn How to Die and You’ll Learn How to Live Life to The Fullest
- Coping With A Family’s Loss
- Difficulty In Handling Pressure Most Likely Leads To Early Death Unless You Do This One Thing.
- Holistic Healing For Depression Issues
- More Calorie Intake Than You Would Like?
0 Comments.