With the ups and downs of life (not to mention the holidays!) come lots of emotions. One of them can be times of sadness which is perfectly normal, but when does sadness fall into depression?
To begin, what is depression and how do you know if you have it? It is hard to say since it affects everyone differently. There are some basic similarities though. It can come on subtly or with an overwhelming trauma. It can even come on with a memory.
Depression can come on and you may not even notice it. Because it comes on slowly, little by little it may have taken it’s toll with you unaware. It is similar to the way we don’t notice how much our kids have grown but a distant relative who doesn’t see the child everyday notices the growth spurt significantly. So is depression unnoticed by the person experiencing it. You see it everyday yet it goes by unnoticed.
Depression starts with a form of a jolt in your emotions. It can be anxiety, sadness, hurt or fear and then become a consistent sadness or a time of feeling “blue”. It increasingly becomes a more severe feeling of being down and feeling like it is hard to come up. You have interupted sleeping patterns and your eating habits change without notice. You feel numb, out of touch, have trouble focusing and you start to isolate yourself.
Things that you used to do at one time are no longer enjoyable. Easy jobs are avoided and simple things like opening the mail, answering phone calls or daily chores become monumental.
You may wonder if you are just sad or truly experiencing depression. Depression can be different for everyone but there are some similarities. 1. You are consistently sad, irritable and angry. 2. You can not laugh or have fun. Life seems dull and boring. 3. You feel like you don’t fit in and have nothing to offer. 4. You lose sleep or sleep all day. 5. You hurt and feel achy for no reason. 6. You cry a lot. 7. Your weight fluctuates one way or another. 8. Focusing on tasks is hard if not impossible. 9. You are hopeless and see no way out. 10. You want to escape. If you are thinking of hurting yourself or others or want to escape there are some things you can do to help yourself heal. If the thoughts are constant, you need to get help from someone as soon as possible. It may seem impossible, but fight those feelings of defeat and find a pastor or counselor who help people all the time in this capacity. They are trained to know what to say and will keep your conversations in the strictest confidentiality. Their professional opinion will help tremendously.
When you talk to someone that is sworn to silence it can help make you feel better and relieve the tension that comes with the depression. Even though it seems there are no answers, there are.
Start journaling. This is one you can do for free. Honestly write down your thoughts and do not edit your thoughts to make them sound better than they are! If you are scared someone might read your most intimate thoughts, read them in the morning then flush them if you want to hide your words. But, the main thing is to start dumping out of your head all your thoughts onto paper. There is something very therapeutic about writing down your thoughts. What most people say is that writing it down was the first time they realized exactly what was going on in their mind. It forces you to be honest and say what is really bothering you. It is also a way to be compassionate toward yourself and give some credit to the feelings that are hurting you so deeply.
Many will write down one issue that is bothering them and then taking that one issue and breaking it down into four categories.
To start, for example, describe the problem. I am angry with my husband because he is late for dinner.
Second, what are all your thoughts about what happened. (Be honest and do not edit). For example, “if he loved me, he would have called or would have been on time. Other things mean more to him than I do.”
Third, write down your true emotions about the issue. I am fearful, I am sad, I am lonely because…etc.
Fourth, try to describe what action you are taking given the situation, your thoughts, and your emotions. For example, are you escaping, isolating, raging, throwing things, feeling sorry for yourself, blaming others for your misery, mad at someone or God, running away, avoiding the conflict, etc.? If you will write all this down, you will be amazed with how much insight and honesty you will be aware of.
Some who wanted to end their life became hopeful when they could see their thoughts clearly and understood the depression. They found there was hope and that their feelings were only temporary and could be dealt with.
Time heals is an old saying but very true. But it is not true if you are not healing. Time can just make your heart harder and you become defensive and over protective. Take that first step and start that journey toward your healing for a happier and healthier life.
PS. If your depression has gotten to the point where you are having thoughts of ending your life, please call 911 and get some help immediately. Or call a counselor, who will know how to help.
To find Counseling on depressionfeel free to go to Chuck Sugar.com To findfree worksheets that help that can help. Check here for free reprint licence: Are You Depressed?.
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